


Who The Fuck Does That?

by i_am_op



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bromance to Romance, Fluff, M/M, ooc bc they actually like each other sURPRISE
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-18 07:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10612416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_am_op/pseuds/i_am_op
Summary: "Hey, asshole," Lance says, walking towards Keith, closing the distance between them.Keith doesn't skip a beat. "Hey, dickwad." And then he bumps hips with the former male.(Au: In which Lance and Keith have an epic bromance going on and are totally oblivious to the sexual tension)





	

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: i say i know how to play poker to fit in but honestly i dont even know the fucking rules

"All right, scale of one through ten, how much do you want to fuck me?" Lance hollers across the hallway, causing heads to turn towards him in curiosity. 

Without even glancing at him, Keith smoothly replies, voice ringing across the noisy hallway, "Always a perfect twelve with you, babe."

Lance gestures wildly with his hands, waving them back and forth as if in a frenzy as he walked towards Keith, breaking into a sprint halfway. "Fuck, man. Love you too. Even though you're a total ass and I'm so much better at, pretty much, _everything_ , than you."

He reaches to where Keith was standing and raises his hands, curling it into a fist. Keith, in response, doesn't even wait a second to raise his hand and commence the usual fist bump that's becoming more like tradition than a greeting with Lance.

Keith pulls back and goes back to twisting the lock for the locker combination. 

"Better than me? You got a seventy-eight on your last exam." Rolling his eyes, Keith manages to open the lock and pulls out his textbook from his locker.

"It was rigged and Mr. Rickmen knew it," Lance shouts as Keith slams his locker shut with a loud staccato noise. 

"I'm starting to think every test is rigged," Keith mumbles, giving a fond smile over to Lance.

A snort comes from Lance's direction as he makes an indignant nosie. "I have my moments." 

"Just get your ass to class," Keith began. "The only papers I see on Mrs. Page's desk are your late excuses notes."

"Excuse your ass, I'm _never_ late. Class starts when Lance Fucking McClain says it starts," Lance chortled, puffing up his chest.

"Your detention records say otherwise."

"Whatever, are you going to escort me to class like a gentlemen or not, you cum bucket?"

"Sure thing, salty dick." Keith puts a hand to towards his hip and waits for Lance.

Lance acknowledges his cue and links their arms together. "Salt tastes delicious, for the record. It's like my family."

"Family made up of whores, that's what."

"What a _gentlemen_."

* * *

"Lance. Keith. We're staging an intervention," Pidge says, completely serious and tone solemn, Hunk besides them, mirroring Pidge's expression. 

"What's up?" Lance questions, a confused look on his face as he shares a glance with Keith. "What'd we do?"

Hunk shakes his head to his words. "Just sit down and listen, all right." He gestured to the chairs that they had pulled up earlier. Pidge and Hunk waited patiently as Lance and Keith both take a seat in their respective chairs, completely perplexed by the inscrutable situation.

Once they were both settled, Pidge clears his throat and fishes out his notecards from his jean pockets. "We're here on the behalf of Lance and Keith's bromance."

"Yeah, we are, and it's hella awesome," Lance's vocal argument is drowned out by Pidge clearing his throat once more.

"It's more on the topic of how you're taking the b out of bromance."

This time, it's Keith's turn to interrupt. "And you are implying?"

"That you two are gay," Hunk helpfully supplies in the background.

"It's not gay if it's a bromance. Bromance automatically is the 'no homo' treaty, all right! Get with the fucking program," Lance insists, as he raises his hands upwards for Keith to slap.

Keith rolls his eyes at Lance's phrased words, but it doesn't stop him from returning the high five.

"C'mon guys, you guys are gayer than a raging homosexual in a gay pride parade that's insulting everyone for their last season handbags," Pidge exclaims, shooting them a look.

"Suck my dick," Lance mumbles underneath his breath, folding his arms in annoyance.

"I'm getting out of here." He gets up from his seat and looks over towards Keith.

"Keith?"

In response, Keith dutifully gets up with him and shoots him an inquisitive look. "Milkshakes at Holsen's?"

"You get me." Lance simultaneously raises his hands as Keith and they both meet at the top, high-fiving. And then proceed to do an elaborate handskae, involving many hip bumps, before stalking off to Holsen's fast food joint.

Pidge flings the notecards he made for the speech and looks at Hunk in disbelief. "Do they not notice how fucking gay they are?"

Hunk places a comforting hand on Pidge's shoulders and gives him a look of utter surrender. "Just let them be."

"But I had this _kick ass_ closing argument and counter claim. I prepared this speech for _an hour",_ Pidge whines, stamping his feet in childish anger.

* * *

"Where's Lance," Allura questions, eyes flickering around the crowded busy area of the movie theather. She pops three pieces of popcorn into her mouth. They had gotten their snacks minutes ago and while waiting for Lance, their snacks were reduced to half of what they originally were.

Shiro glances at his watch. "He's five minutes late." He lifts his head up and gives a small smile towards the group. "He's always at least ten minutes late, so I suppose we should've realized this in hindsight."

The group had all agreed to meet up on the second floor near the snacks section and all had gathered, sans Lance. Lance, the male who always seemed to be the late one every time.

"He better show. It's almost starting and I'm not going to skip the trailers. They're the best part of the movie," Pidge says, unwrapping the chocolate bar he bought.

"Guys!" A familiar voice shouts from across the room. 

All of their heads turns towards the voice to see Lance attempting to pass through the sea of people with difficulty. He ducks over a few hands and manages to catch himself from tripping over feet.

Pidge pouts irritated, as Hunk waves towards Lance as he manages to reach them after fighting through the crowd. 

"Hey, asshole," Lance says, walking towards Keith, closing the distance between them.

Pidge sighs, exasperation clearly evident and Hunk follows after shortly.

Keith doesn't skip a beat. "Hey, dickwad." And then he bumps hips with the former male.

This time Allura sighs. 

"Are we going in or not?" Pidge mumbles. "We're skipping the trailers."

"You're the only weirdo who likes them," Lance says, making a disgusted face. "Not to mention, I eat all the popcorn during trailers."

Pidge rolls his eyes. "Let's just go."

"Yo, wait for me. I gotta buy some popcorn."

"Got you covered, buddy," Keith says, holding up the second bag of popcorn he bought for Lance.

"My hero," Lance fake swoons as he takes the popcorn bag from Keith's hands. "All right then. Let's go."

* * *

They didn't make it for trailers, the movie sucked, Pidge was seated next to the gay phenomenon  known as Lance and Keith who were totally snuggling and talking during the films and Pidge hates the fucking movies.

**Author's Note:**

> come to my tumblr is ya want a good time:
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ramjamson)


End file.
